Saving Love Page 10

  She glanced down at their hands. His seemed so massive over hers, and his calloused skin grazed hers, sending a warm shiver over her body.

  “You’ve taken me in, given me a place to live.”

  He pressed his finger over her lips. “You pay me rent, and yes, I gave you a job, but I needed to find a nanny quickly. Whether that be a temporary situation or not, that was up to you.”

  “That brings me to what I think is really funny, and that’s the fact I got my degree in early childhood education. Of the jobs I was applying for, this is really the only one I’m truly qualified to do, though during the school year, your kids are gone more than they are home.” She tossed her head back and laughed. “I thought if I were a schoolteacher, I’d really know what it was like to live like the rest of the world. I’ve been so clueless my entire life.”

  “Not clueless,” he whispered, pressing his lips on her cheek. “You might have had blinders on for a while, but most of us do in our youth.”

  “You really are too good to be true.”

  “I’ve never mastered making the bed, putting down the toilet seat, and I have a tendency to take charge without asking other people if that’s what they want.”

  “Only the last one is truly a shortcoming.”

  “I’m sure as you get to know me better, you’ll find many more.” He kissed her neck just under her earlobe. “I haven’t wanted to be with a woman in a long time.”

  Her heart pounded in her ears as she wondered if she heard him correctly. She couldn’t imagine he’d ever go very long without a girlfriend. He was the kind of man every woman wanted to bring home.

  “Why not?” she asked with a shaky voice.

  He leaned back and stared at her with laden eyes. “At first, I was too grief-stricken to even think about it. Then, after a while, as I navigated my way into being a single father, I was focused solely on my girls. Recently, when I’ve thought that I might like to have someone to share my life again, I look around, and I think there isn’t anyone I’d want to introduce into my children’s life that way until you and Wyoming drive onto my ranch, and now I find myself jumping in with both feet, and each time I tell myself to slow down, I speed up.”

  She held his gaze, her pulse raging out of control. She hadn’t felt like a desirable woman since she’d met Josh. He’d taken all that away from her, and now, in a flash, Dakota has her insides twisted and begging for affection that only a true gentleman could give. “I don’t know if I can do this.” The shame of all the things Josh did came down on her like a tidal wave. Fear grabbed ahold of her heart, and it wouldn’t let go.

  Memories bombarded her mind. There had been so much she tried to block out.

  “Hey,” he said, cupping her cheeks. “Stay here with me; don’t go back there.”

  “Sorry,” she whispered. ‘It’s just…just…”

  “I know what he did. You don’t have to say.”

  “I think I do.” She stiffened her spine, forcing herself to sit tall and proud. She needed to pull herself together. She needed to remind herself that she wasn’t the sum of what Josh did, but who she chose to be, and she chose not to be a victim anymore. But in order for her to move past everything that had happened, she needed to acknowledge everything.

  He drew a hand over his face before leaning forward and snagging one of the glasses of wine. “I might need to be drunk to hear this; otherwise, I might want to go put my fist through a wall.”

  “Why? It didn’t happen to you.”

  “It shouldn’t happen to anyone,” he said with venom laced in his words. “It angers me that it happened to someone I’ve come to care about, again.”

  “Again?” she asked as she swallowed her breath.

  “I had a close friend in high school who was repeatedly raped by her boyfriend. It was hard for me because I didn’t see it, or maybe I turned a blind eye to it because he was on the lacrosse team with me. I don’t know, but no one found out until she ended up in the hospital. She never really recovered or got the help she needed. I heard she committed suicide a few years ago.”

  “That’s horrible. I’m so sorry.” Alabama often prayed for death during beatings or when her husband raped her, but she also learned to close her mind to what was happening to her, almost as if she were having an out-of-body experience, only the aftermath made her a walking zombie. While she knew how to play the part Josh wanted her to play and be the pretty wife on his arm, and she did all the things he wanted, she did so without any emotional connect to anyone or anything. “The hardest part about being in an abusive relationship for me has been the ability to look back and see all the signs, and yet I didn’t even realize it until the first time he’d left visible bruises on my body and I had to stay inside in fear of what people would think of me, not him. And when it turned into rape, I kept telling myself he was my husband, and this was what married couples did. That he had a right to my body.”

  Dakota closed his eyes and took in a sharp breath. “I really hate that this happened to you.” He blinked.

  She rested her hand on his chest, feeling it rise and fall with each deep breath. If she wasn’t mistaken, his eyes glossed over.

  “I do too. It’s hard to break that internal dialogue that says if only I had done things his way, he wouldn’t have had to hit me. If only I hadn’t said no, he wouldn’t have had to force me.”

  Dakota opened his mouth, but she shushed him.

  “I hear what I’m saying, and I know it’s absurd and crazy and not true, but—”

  He curled his fingers around her wrist and tugged her hand away. “That’s not what I was going to say because you don’t need me to tell you that.”

  “What were you going to say then?”

  “In the month that you’ve lived between my tiny house and the apartment, you’ve changed. A lot. You’re stronger. More confident. When you first moved in, you couldn’t even look me in the eye for more than thirty seconds. You were timid and afraid of your own shadow. Now, you’re driving around town in my SUV, making friends, doing normal everyday things that last year you wouldn’t have ever considered doing. You’re breaking that dialogue. You’re becoming the woman you want to be, and no one, including me, is going to stand in your way. I just hope I can be part of your life and uplift you in all the ways you deserve.”

  “You make it impossible to push you away.”

  He brought her hand to his lips. “Maybe we should call it a night. Besides, tomorrow is your birthday and Valentine’s Day. I have a few special things planned. Well, the girls do. They really want to make it memorable.”

  “Two weeks ago, I would have skipped out of any kind of celebration. But not now.” Boldly, she leaned in and gave him a passionate goodnight kiss. It was meant to end the evening on a positive note. It wasn’t meant to last more than a minute or two. Just a quick swirl of the tongue. She wanted to let him know that she was doing her best to be open to the possibility of dating and potentially a future that could include them being together long term.

  It was a crazy thought, but wasn’t running from her husband all about starting over? Making a new life for her and Wyoming?

  Every nerve ending in her body ignited. She straddled his lap and dug her fingers into his thick shoulder muscles. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt this feminine.

  This sexy.

  Or this alive.

  She pulled at the fabric of his shirt, desperate to feel the heat of skin. For the last year, everyone in the underground would ask her if she could do anything, be anyone, what would that look like, and she couldn’t answer.

  Now she had an idea.

  Abruptly, she broke off the kiss. “Are there preschools around here that might be looking for teachers that might let me bring a kid to work? That wouldn’t interfere with the work I do for you at all.”

  “Interesting conversation to start while you’re sitting on me.” He gripped her hips and pulled her closer. “But to answer your question, yes, there are. And
I think that’s a great idea for you. We can discuss it and work on your resume tomorrow, but for now, I either need to say good night, or take you to bed. I’m good with either, though I do have a preference.”

  It amazed her how comfortable she felt with Dakota and how his comment made her insides go wild with desire. “I can feel your preference.”

  His cheeks turned red. “I wish I could control that physical reaction, but I can’t. However, I can stand up and walk out that door.”

  “I’m sure you can, and I still might make you, but for now, I don’t want you to,” she said, losing some of her newfound confidence. “I don’t want to be a tease and lead you on.”

  “Stop,” he said. “We can kiss, snuggle, touch, do nothing, sleep, whatever. I just want to know that I have a chance with you.”

  She swallowed.

  Hard.

  Lifting her shirt over her head, she tossed it to the floor. “I need you to know that this second, right now, I’m all in. That might change.”

  “Shhhh.” He kissed her lips. Her cheeks. Her neck. He pressed his palm under the swell of her breast. “I want to pick you up and take you to bed. I want to make mad passionate love to you all night. I want to hold you afterward and whisper how wonderful you are in your ear. But that’s not what I need. What I need is for you to feel safe in my arms, and I will do whatever it takes for you to feel that way.”

  “Take me to bed,” she said.

  Chapter 8

  Take me to bed.

  The words echoed in Dakota’s brain as he gently lay Alabama down on the queen mattress in the apartment. Careful not to put all his weight on her, he shifted to the side, but still settling between her legs, his lips locked with hers in a decadent kiss. He wanted to be wild and free, but he also wanted to treat her with the kind of respect she deserved.

  He needed to let her control the situation, and that would prove to be difficult. Not because he couldn’t let a woman rule him in bed. Of course he could. But he wanted to ravish her body and bring her pleasure like she’d never experienced before.

  He believed he could do that, but it would have to wait.

  Tonight would be about her taking back her sexuality.

  Tonight he would give her whatever she wanted, and if that meant he had to stop right in the middle of the throws of passion, then so be it. He’d deal with it because he cared.

  More than he should.

  More than he wanted to.

  But he knew she was worth risking his heart over.

  “Alabama?”

  “Yes?”

  “Promise me you will communicate with me, and if anything makes you feel uncomfortable, you’ll tell me.” He lifted her into his arms and made his way toward the apartment bedroom. “And please understand I can’t stay the entire night. My girls are at an age where they understand more than I want them to.”

  “I don’t want them to wake up and find you in my room,” she murmured against his ear. “I don’t want to ever come between you and your girls.”

  “Wrong circumstance to say this and not the perfect time, but if you were ever to pose a problem between me and my girls, we wouldn’t happen. I’m sorry, but they are my number one priority.”

  “Don’t be sorry, but could you stop talking and start kissing and touching?” She rested her hand high on his thighs.

  “I think I can handle that,” he murmured. He focused his attention on removing the rest of her clothing, as well as his all the while kissing every curve of her body. He didn’t let any inch of her go unnoticed. He made sure both breasts were fully appreciated. He suckled both nipples as though each one were the only reason he lived. He kissed her skin from her temples to the edge of her big toe. He did everything he could think of to drive her crazy and show her he cared more about her pleasure than his own.

  He captured her soft moans in his mouth as he dipped his fingers slowly inside. Her hips raised up and rolled with each stroke. Her fingers dug into his shoulders, and she tossed her head back, biting down on her lower lip.

  His breath hitched. Watching her arousal grow and intensify at his touch humbled and excited him.

  The faster she rolled her hips, the more the desire to taste her became unbearable. He kissed his way down to her belly button. “Do you like this?” he asked, lowering his head.

  “Oh, yes,” she said between ragged breaths. “Very much.”

  “Good, because so do I.” He switched between his tongue and fingers, bringing her close to climax, teasing her, and testing his own control, which would snap the second he entered her if he wasn’t careful.

  Her grip on his head tightened, and she clasped her legs tight. Her stomach trembled, and his name rolled off her tongue like melting butter.

  With each tender flick of his tongue, her body rewarded him with another shudder until her muscles contracted one last time, and she relaxed under him, taking in a long breath.

  He lay next to her, running his fingers up and down her arm and kissing her shoulder. “How do you feel?”

  She turned her head and smiled. “You really need a verbal answer after that?”

  He chuckled. “I suppose not.”

  “And now it’s my turn.” She pushed him to his back and pressed her plump lips against his chest.

  His skin sizzled against her touch. Her fingers were warm and curled around him with just the right pressure to render him speechless. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t fill his lungs with enough air. They burned as if someone took a blowtorch to them. The room spun, and everything blurred but her pretty lips on his body.

  “Alabama,” he managed to croak out. “You don’t have to do this.” He gripped the sheets, staring down at her, not wanting to touch her in fear he’d run his hands through her hair, tugging or pushing, and that might make her feel cornered, or trapped.

  Or worse, forced.

  He couldn’t have that.

  With a dainty finger she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and smiled. “I want to. Don’t you like it?”

  He arched a brow. “Oh, I like it. Actually, I love it. But I don’t want you to feel like you have to do it because you think I want it or something.”

  “Do you want it?” She held him in her hand, gently stroking, rolling her thumb over the tip.

  “Yeah.”

  “Then just enjoy it.”

  He watched as she took him into her hot mouth, her hands exploring while her tongue did things to him he hadn’t ever experienced. Digging his heels into the bed, he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to enjoy the moment while focusing on everything but the woman currently giving him the greatest pleasure in the world.

  That only lasted a couple of minutes.

  He blinked his eyes open and damn near lost it when he glanced down at the blond hair pooling over his stomach. “Okay, that’s enough.” He gave her a quick, but gentle tug. “Come here.”

  He had every intention of kissing her good and hard while flipping her on her back, but she had a different plan.

  “Oh, dear, God. You’re going to be the death of me,” he ground out as she straddled him, taking him slowly inside, inch by inch.

  Her hips rolled back and forth over him. She pressed her hands against his chest, and her hair tickled his skin.

  Twisting and tugging at her nipples, he focused on her body, and not his. He desperately wanted her to orgasm one more time before he lost all control. It scared him how much she mattered to him in such a short time, but at the same time, he hadn’t felt this alive in a long time.

  “Oh, God,” she said with a throaty moan. She dug into his chest with her nails and rode him faster and harder.

  He curled his toes, holding her hips as her body shuddered over his, sending hot searing messages to his brain. He could no longer contain his resolve. He raised his hips, thrusting inside her rapidly a few times as he exploded. “Alabama,” he murmured, pulling her to his lips and kissing her as hard as they made love, matching their movements until she fell ov
er his body spent and exhausted.

  Carefully, he covered them with the sheets and held her close. He kissed her temple and stroked her hair. Tenderly, he rubbed her arm and shoulder. He stared at the ceiling, knowing he should get up and go to his own bed.

  But he didn’t want to move.

  Just a couple more minutes.

  “Dakota?”

  “Yes,” he said.

  “What did you tell the girls about us kissing?”

  He smiled. “They asked me if they could rip up the potential dating list.”

  “And what did you say?”

  “I told them that I only dated one lady at a time and that if you’d let me date you, then they could burn that stupid list.”

  Alabama snuggled in closer. “Just please, don’t be too good to be true.”

  “I’m not perfect. I’m sure I will say and do some dumb things that will make you mad at me. I’m not some superhero or knight in shining armor. I’m just a man.” He took her chin with his thumb and forefinger and tilted her head, forcing her to look him in the eye. “Don’t put me on a pedestal, because I will let you down if you do that, and that would really upset me.”

  Waking up alone had been both a relief and a source of fear. She hadn’t expected to fall asleep in Dakota’s arms last night. And she did expect, when he left, for him to say goodbye.

  But that didn’t happen.

  She lifted the sheets and groaned. When she’d been living with Josh, she couldn’t stand to sleep naked all night in fear of what he’d do, and also, she just didn’t feel comfortable in her own skin.

  Last night she not only lost herself completely with Dakota, but she gained a piece of her womanhood back. He might be just a man, but he was a special man, and any woman who ended up with him was one lucky lady.

  She giggled as she put on her sweatpants and nightshirt. After last night, she had to consider herself to be the lucky one. Her heart fluttered. The fear of her past crept into her mind and soul. None of them could be considered lucky if Josh came into their lives, and if anything ever happened to Dakota or his girls, that would be Alabama’s fault.