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  Jared raked a hand across his head, then slid his hat on. “Make sure someone is tailing him when he does leave.”

  “You got it.”

  Jared pulled his sunglasses out, slipped them on, and then stepped out into the parking lot. He ducked into his patrol car and headed toward the hotel.

  Eddy was a wacko, and Ryan had known it. He rammed his foot on the gas pedal and the patrol car lurched forward. He whizzed by a car that had slowed below the speed limit.

  He really wanted to give Ryan a piece of his mind. She should have told him long ago about Eddy’s little underwear fetish. He glanced at his watch, knowing he might already be a few minutes late to pick Ryan up so they could go to the cemetery, but he needed to calm himself before he did or said something really stupid. He rolled the window down and took in a good dose of fresh, cool air rolling in off the lake.

  He knew his emotions weren’t all tied up by Eddy and his perverted ways, but by the visit to the cemetery. In years past, he’d visited with a bottle of Jack Daniels. And two years ago, he’d even slept at the cemetery. This year everything was different, and he wasn’t quite sure how to handle it. But he’d made his bed, now he’d have to lie in it.

  Ryan pushed open the main doors to the hotel and waited in the cool spring air for Jared. Her eyes shifted around the front lawn, fear always prickling at her neck, even in the scenic beauty of bright colorful bushes lining the walkway to the crystal-clear waters of Lake George. The plush green mountains surrounding the lake only added to the breathtaking view, except today it did nothing to ease her growing tension. Every time her phone rang or someone tapped on her door, she’d practically jumped out of her skin.

  Rick had offered to let her take the day off, but where would she go? She didn’t feel safe at home, not after what happened. She didn’t feel comfortable staying at Jared’s since someone had been watching them. Her brother was already at the bar, and she really didn’t feel like hanging out there.

  As much as she wanted to blow the whole thing off, she couldn’t.

  “Ryan.”

  She whipped around, unable to breathe.

  “Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Tom had stopped a few feet away from her. “I sort of heard what happened. If you need anything, if I can help in any way, let me know.”

  “I’m okay. Jared’s on the case.”

  “You guys an item or something?” Tom asked, taking a step closer.

  She swallowed, but didn’t back away. Tom seemed genuinely concerned. He might be a little odd, but he wasn’t a psycho. She’d leave that to her stepfather. “Jared and I are close friends.” Her heart skipped a beat, but only because it wasn’t a lie.

  “If you’re not seeing him, I’d like a second chance. I think you’re a nice girl.” He smiled, placing his hand on her arm. “I like you.”

  Trying like hell not to tremble or pull away, she forced a slight grin and said, “I’m sorry if I led you on. It’s nothing personal, but right now I can’t afford to complicate my life with a relationship, especially one at work.”

  His smile faded and his eyes narrowed. They appeared to change color. To darken. When his hand fell from her arm, she saw a coldness in his gaze that frightened her. She took in a breath and chalked it up to being paranoid.

  “I guess I understand.” He continued to stare at her.

  “Thanks, Tom.” From the corner of her eye, she could see Jared sauntering down the pathway, hand on his gun.

  “I’ve got to go,” she muttered, then scurried toward Jared. The last thing she needed was for him to go off half-cocked. She figured his nerves were fried right about now. Jared didn’t drink much, except for the week of his son’s death. Then the bottle became his best friend. A friend she’d taken away from him when she’d decided to let him get lost in her body instead. Except she was the one who was lost now. She hoped she hadn’t made a mistake.

  “You okay?” He took her by the elbow, but glanced back at Tom. “I’m still waiting to find out what he’s hiding.”

  “Did anyone find Jimmy’s dog?”

  Jared’s body tensed, giving her the answer she didn’t want to hear. “Oh, God, no.”

  “I spoke with Mr. Stevens, and when the time is right, I’ll get Jimmy a new puppy.”

  “That poor little boy.” She slid into the passenger seat of her SUV. “Has anyone talked with Eddy yet?”

  He slammed her door, scowled, and then jogged around the front of her Honda Pilot. He didn’t say anything when he got in, just started the engine and headed out to Route 9 North.

  “You sure know how to pick them,” he finally said about a mile from the cemetery.

  “I didn’t date him long, and I only slept with him once, sort of, which was more than enough.” She blinked. What a ridiculous thing to say.

  Jared groaned like someone had just sucker-punched him in the gut. “I didn’t need to know that.”

  “Look, I don’t sleep around. He’d taken me out seven or eight times, bought me all sorts of nice things. I thought he liked me, but he only liked the underwear he bought me, so I broke up with him. End of story.”

  “How the hell did my name end up coming out of your mouth when you were with the likes of him?” He put the truck in park and stared at her.

  “I guess my life can’t get any more embarrassing.” She fixed her hair and looked at him dead on. She’d made love to him; this shouldn’t be that hard. “If you must know, I was bored, so I did a little pretending.”

  He rubbed the back of his neck. “I have no idea how to respond to that.”

  “It’s a compliment.” She pushed back her door and stepped out, taking in a small breath. Cemeteries always smelled a little off to her. Even though there were flowers everywhere, sadness filled the air instead of the pretty scents of the living.

  “I was there when Nick questioned him, but my gut tells me he’s just a pervert who gets his rocks off by watching girls strip.”

  “I’ll buy that. I practically had to throw myself at him. He seemed more interested in me undressing than any kind of intimacy. It was like once the underwear was off, so was he.”

  “You should’ve seen the writing on the wall.” His fingers laced between hers, and they made their way down a path of tombstones covered with flowers.

  “Like I said, we went out a few times. The first time I was at his place, I found my underwear. He must have swiped them when I cooked him dinner, but I was actually flattered.”

  Jared glared at her. “That’s just plain weird.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  His fingers tightened as he led her across a dirt road to the section where Johnny was buried. “What about that guy Tom? He have any weird traits you haven’t shared with me?”

  “He’s just cocky and boring. He really thinks he’s something special, and he’s very persistent. He actually asked me out again.” Her steps become slower, following Jared’s. Only three stones and they’d be where Johnny had been laid to rest.

  “We’ve got three solid leads. I have a good feeling this will be over in a few days. Until that time…” He paused, tilting her head with his thumb. “You are not to be alone, you got it?”

  “I’m not moving in with my brother. Maybe I can crash at Penny’s place.”

  “You’ll crash at my place. If I have to work late, you can hang out at the bar with Pat or at Penny’s, otherwise you will be with me.”

  The sun had settled high in the sky and forced her to squint, barely able to make out the intensity of his face. But she read him loud and clear by the tone of his voice and the pressure of his fingers on her chin.

  She clenched her jaw. She hated it when anyone told her what to do and how to do it. Especially guys like Jared. He thought he had all the answers. But under the present circumstances, she had to admit that being alone would be stupid. “I don’t know if I can stay at your house knowing someone was watching us.”

  “I’m not real thrilled about that either, babe. But you’r
e still safer with me.”

  His head shifted, blocking the sun. Her pulse beat wildly as she looked at the intent gaze in his eyes. “About last night…” Pressure from his soft finger hushed her lips.

  “Last night was just what I needed, what we needed. I won’t let anyone take that away from us.” He leaned forward and kissed her temple. “For the first time since Johnny died, I think I can get through today without feeling like I’ve let down the world.”

  “Oh, Jared.” She cupped his face. “You’ve never let anyone down.”

  “Yeah, right,” came a female voice. “Don’t you two make a lovely couple?”

  Ryan blinked a few times, then shook her head making sure her eyes weren’t playing tricks on her.

  “Lisa? What the hell are you doing here?” Jared said, not hiding the venom in his tone. He hadn’t seen his ex-wife since the day she walked out on him and their son.

  “Visiting my son.” She glared at him.

  His body went rigid as he took a step away from Ryan and jammed his hands into his pockets. “Have you ever been here?”

  “None of your damned business,” Lisa said, gripping a small teddy bear. “Would you mind giving me a minute? I’ve got someone waiting for me.”

  “Oh, I mind all right.” Jared’s hands came flying out of his pockets as he lunged toward Lisa.

  “Jared,” Ryan whispered, stepping in his way. His chest muscles tensed at her touch. “We’ve got time. Let her have a moment.”

  “She doesn’t deserve a moment since she didn’t care enough when he was alive,” he snapped.

  “Judge me all you want. I don’t care.” Lisa wiped her face, then approached the stone where Johnny rested.

  “Come on.” Ryan tugged at Jared’s arm, pulling him away. “I left my purse in the truck, and I’ve got a toy car for Johnny anyway.”

  Jared glared at Ryan, then looked over his shoulder. “I don’t think she’s been back here since—since she ran out.”

  Ryan patted his arm, forcing her stare forward. She wanted to know why too, but she wouldn’t dare ask it. Lisa hadn’t been a very nice neighbor, at least not to Ryan.

  When they reached the truck, Ryan grabbed her purse, and by the time they started back toward the grave, Lisa was on her way toward them. She wore a shiny black trench coat, hiding her clothes, but Ryan noticed the expensive shoes that matched the designer purse. Ryan also noticed the limo waiting for her. Seems Lisa had elevated herself from white trailer trash.

  Ryan mentally slapped herself. What a horrible thing to think. Besides, Ryan had grown up in that same little strip of houses known as The Under Developers, a nice way of calling their rundown, old rented trailers, shacks.

  “Thank you,” Lisa said, holding out a card.

  Jared took it in his steady hand, then stuffed it in his pocket without looking at the small card.

  Ryan wanted to fish it out and see what it said.

  “I’m living in Saratoga now,” Lisa began. “I plan on coming here often.”

  “Thanks for the warning,” Jared said.

  “What are you doing in Saratoga?” Ryan’s curiosity was going to get her in trouble based on the daggers Jared just threw her with his eyes.

  “My husband owns a horse farm there.” Lisa adjusted her coat. “I must be going.”

  “Nice to see you.” Ryan winced when both Lisa and Jared glared at her. “Goodbye?”

  Lisa slipped past them without another word. Ryan couldn’t help it, she had to keep peering over her shoulder. A gray-haired man got out of the limo and kissed her cheek, then they both disappeared into the car.

  “I want a check on Lisa Madden. At least, Madden is her maiden name,” Jared bellowed.

  “What are you doing?” Ryan whipped around and stared at him, cell phone to his ear.

  He arched his brow, then turned his back. “She’s married to some horse farmer—wait.” He dug into his pockets. “Lisa Stillman is the name now, lives in Saratoga, and I want a full check on her, her farm, and her husband.”

  “Why?” Jared moved his phone from his ear and stared at it for a moment before he lifted it and began speaking. “She’s a suspect in the case involving Ryan O’Connor.”

  “Jared Jonathon Blake, what the hell are you talking about?” Ryan grabbed his arm.

  Shrugging it off, he didn’t turn. “Just get on it, okay? I’ll explain everything this afternoon.”

  “Explain it to me now.” She glared at him. Lisa was a lot of things, but she hadn’t been around for years. She had no reason to hurt Ryan.

  “There’s nothing to explain.” He took a step toward the tombstone.

  “Jared, now.” She leapt in front of him. “Either you are just using your police power to get back at her, or there’s something else going on. I have a right to know.”

  He ran a hand across his head and glared up into the sky. “After your father’s trial, right before she gave birth.” He dipped his gaze and caught her eyes. “She gave me an ultimatum.”

  “What kind of ultimatum?”

  “If I didn’t stop helping you out, she threatened to leave. I told her if she left, she couldn’t take Johnny with her.”

  “So she just left you? The baby? Because of me?”

  8

  Jared had never planned on having this conversation with anyone, much less Ryan. But so much was changing. “Right before Lisa told me she was pregnant, I’d been offered the job I’m taking now.” Jared lowered himself onto the soft green grass next to Johnny’s grave, unable to look at Ryan. “I turned it down.”

  “Why?” Ryan questioned.

  “You, the trial, the baby. Lots of reasons.” He lifted his gaze to meet her shocked expression. “Pat was in L.A. and going through hell. He counted on me to help take care of you. You were only sixteen. And alone.”

  “Oh, God, no,” she mumbled, shaking her head.

  “I told Lisa as soon as you got into college, I’d be free to leave.”

  “Free? To leave?”

  “That’s not what I meant,” Jared said, knowing that Ryan would think he allowed himself to be tied to her somehow. That taking care of her had been a hardship, but it hadn’t.

  “I didn’t realize what a burden I’ve been to you all these years.” She tilted her head and stared into the soft blue sky. A few clouds rumbled in. “I knew about the possible transfer, but I thought you stayed because of Lisa.”

  “Come here.” He held out his hand.

  “No,” she said, pacing on the narrow path. “I can’t believe this. You turned down that job because of me? Did Lisa want you to take it?”

  “Lisa trapped me,” Jared admitted. “She got pregnant on purpose, and used Johnny to try and force me to move. She didn’t think she’d be happy staying here.”

  Ryan stopped and stared at him with questioning eyes. “You let your marriage fall apart to stay and help me?”

  He took a deep breath, choosing his words carefully. “My marriage was doomed long before I got married.” He reached out again, gently lacing his fingers in hers, but she yanked her hand away. “I don’t regret turning the position down back then. I wanted Johnny to be raised here. Besides, moving wouldn’t have done anything but prolong the inevitable.” He held out his hand again. “Please, come sit here with me.”

  She scowled, but complied, seating herself down next to him. She toyed with the matchbox car before resting it next to the small, sandy brown bear. “Jared, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.”

  He touched the soft curves of her lips, hushing her silly words. “I made a decision, one that I’m proud of. I know I have nothing to do with who you’ve become, but I like knowing I helped pay for your education and gave you a chance you might not have gotten otherwise.”

  “I’m not a charity case.” She glared at him. “You should’ve moved. Everything would be different.”

  “Maybe, but I’m glad Lisa and I divorced. I was miserable, and honestly, so was she.”

  “Do you ever wond
er if things would’ve been different for you and Lisa had I not gotten in the way?”

  He let out an exasperated sigh. “You didn’t get in the way.”

  “You just said she didn’t want you helping me out.”

  “Because you were a threat to her.” Jared wanted to laugh out loud at the absurdity of his words. At the time, Lisa was about Ryan’s age now, and Ryan was just a teenager. But the words were true, and years later, Lisa’s premonition was materializing.

  “Me? That doesn’t make any sense.”

  “I paid more attention to the teenager living in my carriage house than I did her.” He drew Ryan back between his legs, resting her head on his chest. She hesitated before giving in.

  “Lisa wanted money and respect, and thought they’d come to her in that order. When being with me didn’t get her the respect in this community she thought she deserved, she ran.”

  “Look who thinks there’s a good side to someone now?” Ryan said, shifting from his embrace. “Next you’re going to tell me she was misunderstood.”

  He laughed. It wasn’t funny, but it was true. “I couldn’t forgive Lisa if I tried, but…” He tucked some of Ryan’s sun-warmed hair behind her ear. “If I’m being honest, I was part of the problem.”

  Ryan rolled her eyes. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “Maybe not, but I didn’t do anything right, either.” He leaned back on his hands and glanced at Jonathon Mitchell Blake’s grave, at the words “Cherished Son” etched in the hard stone. “I didn’t want to get married, but she was pregnant.”

  “Such the noble man,” she muttered. “Women have kids all the time out of wedlock.”

  Stretching his legs and crossing his ankles, he studied Ryan’s face. Her eyes lit up from the bright sun. Beauty that defied all reason. “Not with my kid, they don’t.”

  “You don’t want kids.” She stared at him with a sudden harshness in her eyes.

  He ripped a blade of grass from the ground and rolled it between his fingers. “I wanted Johnny.” Jared never admitted to anyone how much he’d wanted Johnny. But he’d never allow himself to go through that kind of hurt again. “From the moment Lisa told me, I loved him.”